“HOW WE MET + ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS BY JARROD J PHOTO”

“God, please allow him to see me the way You always intended a man to see me.”

Anyone who knows me well, or has met me for at least 5 minutes in the last year, has probably heard the story of how I met my fiance, Jerome. It’s your typical modern romance of how the average couple meets nowadays: on an airplane. Ha! I’m SO not that person to become best friends with the (lucky) souls that sit next to me. But let me start at the beginning! 

In the past, I always had a habit of being in relationships, and not always the healthiest ones. I found a need to fill a void of loneliness with companionship, even if I knew that the person I was with was not the right person for me. It wasn’t until I started taking my relationship with God SERIOUSLY that I realized only He can fill that place in my heart, as man was never intended to do so!

After another yet *slightly* devastating breakup, I realized that I needed to take some time OFF from dating. No casual dates, no texting, no filling my free time with flirty nonsense. This was time to truly discover who I was as an individual, single, woman of God.

I used this time to study His Word, devote time with Him daily, become actively involved in my church and multiple ministries. My friends threw (literally threw) numerous dating and relationship books at me which I am SO THANKFUL FOR, and have recommended to others over and over! You can find my favorites HERE (Please note: I will earn a small commission should you choose to purchase any of these books, but please know that I have read, love and am CONSTANTLY recommending these to my friends and strangers alike!) I discovered my passion for mentoring other women, serving the kiddos in Sunday School, and was asked to go on an upcoming mission trip to Haiti. I had a goal; a goal that I honestly at the time was not sure how it popped into my head: No dating for 3 MONTHS. I know, some of you are probably laughing at how seemingly insignificant this short amount of time may seem, but let me tell you, for someone who has always either been in a long-term relationship or just casually dating, this was a challenge! 

Ok so 3 months… this meant that August 16 was “The Day” I could start CASUALLY dating again (ha) I even doodled a little heart on my calendar for that day as a placeholder and reminder of how much time was left. I tried to rally everyone around me to hold me accountable to this. I mean, we aren’t meant to go through this life and daily struggles alone, right? Ecclesiastes 4:12 says “And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” In order to be successful in ANYTHING (i.e. a diet, workout plan, quitting bad habits, etc.) you need your running crew around you to be supportive and encouraging you along the way, making sure you are on the right path, and *lovingly* admonishing you when you stray from that.

I remember it was mid-July, and I felt ready to start dating again. I was reading my books, felt my heart was in the right place, and was ready to dip my toe into that dating pool again to try and apply my new discoveries. Dating with the mindset of marriage; dating with the mindset of ETERNITY.

I questioned the date I had given myself. God didn’t actually *whisper* in my ear August 16… I almost felt as though I had made up that date myself. And since at the time I had no real knowledge of what was to come, shouldn’t I have the power to adjust that date once I felt ready? The logic in my head made sense to me, and I brought my questions to my community and church mentor, a married Christian woman.

Some friends were on board, some were back and forth, but I’ll never forget what my mentor told me, which I am so grateful for to this day. She said “Regardless of where you think that ‘date’ came from, you made a commitment to God, and you need to stick to that.”

Boom. Commitment. So black and white. No arguments there. Ugh. So there it was. August 16 was still the date.

Fast forward to the beginning of August. I have a few friends that live in Los Angeles so we planned a *Girls Trip* to reunite and get the gang back together. In the past, I had a reputation in this crew as being the wild one and getting guys’ attention. I felt a certain pressure to keep that and longed for my friends’ approval to still be seen as “fun” since I had been so MIA all summer, but I knew I wasn’t being 100% honest with myself.

By the end of the trip, I wondered what would happen next. We board our Southwest flight, save a seat for my friend flying back with me, and plan to nap the entire plane ride. Let me paint you a picture here- I am in no mood to talk to strangers. I am wearing a Tito’s Vodka tank top, no makeup and frizzy air dried hair (which I am actually rocking this look quite often now, not the Tito’s top, but the no makeup and natural hair look) 

My forehead is pressed against the window, ready to be home already, when I turn around and see someone’s legs in my row, putting their bag in the overhead bin. “Great, someone is going to sit by me.” Thought, non-social, bad mood Jessica. The aisle row mystery person takes a seat and turns to look at me and…. Oh…….

This. Man. Are you a movie star? Hi. What’s my name? What do I say? Um….

“This seat is saved for my friend.”

YES. THAT’S WHAT I SAID. 

We laugh about this initial moment over and over now, but at the time I was so anxious to start a conversation and knew I had to say something, anything really, to get the convo going!

Well, the ice breaker worked, because my friend and I talked to the aisle seat mystery man (aka Jerome) for the entire 3 hour plane ride. He was flying to Dallas for work, as he had done back and forth for the past few months, and we quickly realized he had never really “seen” Dallas. “You’ve never been to Deep Ellum?” “You’ve never been to the Rustic??” Our discoveries were endless. We made it our duty to take our attractive new friend under our wing, exchanged numbers, and made plans to hang out that weekend. As I got home, I wondered how we were going to navigate the next few days. I was interested in this man, I mean, 3 hours into a conversation and you are way past small talk. We talked about interests, dreams, documentaries, world views, you name it. The way we were able to immediately connect on just a conversational level was refreshing. I knew this was something different, BUT it was very important that I didn’t get ahead of myself. Just because I was nearing “my date” didn’t mean that the first qualified man I met was going to be my future husband! 

A few days later, we receive a group text from our new friend, Jerome. His flight back to LA had changed and he would no longer be able to hang out this weekend. Bummer. Then he said something interesting- can we reschedule to tonight or tomorrow? Mind you, it is 8PM on a Wednesday and I have had a really long day at work (managing commercial real estate properties and investments at the time) My PJ’s are on, wine in hand, watching TV on the couch with my roommate and sister. But then I realized: Wait… What. Tomorrow. Is. That. Date.

Still not wanting to get ahead of myself, because this is technically a group hangout and not a date at all. I casually mention that I am not available tonight (very important wine and couch business going on) but am free tomorrow, waiting to see what my friend is going to say. She can’t make either night (!!!) so I send her a separate text asking if it’s cool if I see him alone. Didn’t want to be THAT sneaky person, and she of course is fine with it. With her blessing, and the fact that this date was THE date, I didn’t have to feel guilty about going on A date. My roommate squealed “What if it’s a sign??” and as excited as I was, it was really important that I didn’t get my hopes up about this. Just a first date. A casual first date. I’m going to apply the wisdom I’ve been filled with these past few months, and see where this goes. 

The next day at work was a blur. Eventually it was time to go home, get ready for my date (!!!) and see the attractive Aisle Man, I mean Jerome. No Tito’s tanks this time. My roommate recommended we go to a rooftop bar nearby because of its amazing downtown views at sunset. I ride the elevator to the top. He’s already here. I’m nervous. What do I say? What’s about to happen? God, are You in this? Have You orchestrated this? What are You doing?

I get off the elevator and enter the restaurant / bar. Everything happened in slow motion. I literally could feel little rays of sunshine beaming down on me (we were indoors), the music stopping and everyone turning to look as I enter, very “She’s All That” during the slow-mo walking down the stairs scene. I see him. He turns to look at me. Hi McSteamy. Did I mention he looks like McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy? Yes, him. Hi. 

We get our drinks and walk out to the balcony area to catch golden hour and the sunset. Y’all, this was literally a dream. Let me read you something I had written in my prayer journal just the night before “Lord, I pray that You are in this. That You will be so present tomorrow. Please give me the opportunity to share my testimony and how much Your love has changed my life. Please allow Jerome to see me the way You always intended a man to see me.” Literally 5 minutes into the conversation, he is talking about his time in Central America, and I mention my upcoming mission trip in Haiti. He looks at me surprised: “You’re a Christian?” Me: *slightly defeated that this came off as such a surprise* “YES!” And I share my testimony (will post more on this later!) 

Right off the bat, very intentional, purposeful, deep conversations. Something I always craved in past relationships; something I always missed in past relationships. As we continue to talk about our past, our walk with God, what He’s teaching us, our hopes and dreams, the meaning of life, etc. he held the back of my head (this is literally during Golden Hour y’all, I cannot make up this beautiful moment) and said to me “I am completely enamored by you.” 

That was the moment. The moment we fell in love. One hour in. And we knew. We just knew. Not in a silly way, where people mistake their passion and chemistry for “love” but we knew this was deeply rooted in a strong foundation. HIS foundation. This wasn’t silly, and we weren’t going to be silly about it. We decided right away that we were going to keep this beautiful gift from God pure, yes pure, as in we are waiting to have sex until marriage (will post more later) and do this the right way!

Fast forward (honestly this is the short version y’all – ha!) to an engagement on an airplane *Link to proposal video HERE* planning a wedding, concerns from some that this is all happening so fast, but ultimately knowing and reassuring all those around us that this is bigger than us. We are not being foolish. Just because the world says that dating and relationships should be a certain way, like in the movies and magazines, isn’t it possible that they are the ones getting it wrong? 

Anyways, I live in LOS ANGELES now (cue Miley Cyrus “Party in the USA” intro) and trying to navigate living in a new city, planning a wedding (getting married this August!) and preparing my heart to be a WIFE! To a lot of people’s surprise, no we are not living together! We decided that it’s important to not play “house” before we get married. We are leaving what is sacred for the unity of marriage, and know that God still has a lot to work on us individually before bringing us together as one. 

Honestly, I could go on and on about this topic! I know that this relationship was never meant to “fulfill” me, but it is so encouraging to find someone else with that same Kingdom-mindset, knowing that God navigated all the previous plot-twists and turns, until we were both ready to meet each other, and ultimately bring us closer to Him, together. 

This truly is just skimming the surface of our relationship, and there will be so many posts to come as I dive into this passion for blogging on life, love, relationships and so much more!

Leave your questions and comments below! Until next time – XOXO

Love, Jess Marie